o_o
Regarding my ;ast post, I want you to understand that by "suicidal" I don't mean "knife-to-throat or gun-to-hear or sleeping-pills-and-bathfub-ful-of-water" suicidal. I mean "It-can't-feel-any-worse-than-this-I-wonder-if-death-is-better-than-life" suicidal/I don't have and never will have the nerve to slit the throat, pull the trigger, or pop the pills.
I guess "extremely depressed" might have been a better term.
Etheir way, I've never felt lower and it was horrible.
God seems so far away and I'm slowly losing my sense of what's going on.
In real life, my grades are failing, and in my spiritual life God's slipping away to be nothing more than a nice word for Sunday.
I feel that if I can just make it to Camp, everything will be okay.
Everythign is always automaticly okay at Camp.
The people I love most surround and care for me, and no wordly distractions keep me from God.
I'm crying now for missing Camp.
I seriously need help.
I wish I was "close" enough to any of the youth-leaders to ask them for help.
I can't even say "hi" to them without my voice shaking.
=/
posted by Kathryn at
3/29/2006 11:11:00 PM
4 comment(s):
*wipes off tear* Awww. Thanks Ashla. *huggles back*
By
Kathryn, at
10:34 AM
I totally agree with ash..0.0. God's always there even if it doesn't feel like it. The sun WILL rise again. Ps 126:5-6
Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him. (NIV) God will put joy back into your heart. He will draw near to you. All you have to do is ask. Keep asking, seeking, knocking.
Lord, please be with my friend right now, she is feeling really low. I pray that you would place joy back into her heart and a peace to know you are there even when nobody else seems to be. She is your preciouse gift to the world. Please remind her of how much you love her! Thank you Lord for her and for what you are going to do in her. Jesus name, Amen.
www.zjam.com (click on the hope line link)
By
untamed, at
8:25 PM
Thanks Steph.
Bleh...sun's not risng very high atm, but it's coming up. xD
By
Kathryn, at
4:29 PM
I couldn't do it either. I was at the point where I had the pills neatly lined up and waiting to go down the hatch, but told my mom and had her get rid of all the sleeping pills in the house. I made myself accountable to someone else and got counselling. It really helped.
By
Carey, at
7:25 AM
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