Here goes, all.
Carey, Jason, Olivia, Leah, Jenna, Anna, and anonymous:I am, at this time, 10:56 PM on Wedsnesday, May tenth, 2006, publicly renouncing my habit and asking you all for your help in recovering. For about a month now, I have been slicing my arms and legs. Through many tears I talked to Leah and Stephanie, and they prayed for me, and have helped me in the second step of the healing. It's incredibly hard right now, but I believe that with the power of my Christian friends' prayer and most of all God, I can overcome this.
Cheesy soap-operaish as this sounds, it is MY LIFE. I have renounced it, and plan to never return. Steph and I agreed that it's not a good idea to tell my parents right now, so PLEASE, help me on this and keep quiet to them and anyone in contact with them. I'l telling you all, my friends, this in confidence that you will keep my trust.
Olivia, I lied. I wasn't scratching my arm, your mum's so insightful. I do expect you to, out of respect for me, not tell her so, however.
Leah and Stephie, I know you won't, and I appreciate that SO much.
Jenna, Stephanie assured me that you wouldn't tell my parents anything, I hope that's true.
Carey and Jason, I know you can't, so I'm not even gonna bother. Thanks.
In case anyone was wondering, this here: http://implodinghead.blogspot.com/2006/05/bwah_02.html
wasn't just a made-up story. It was a short autobiography of that very night, with a few minor changes.
Thanks for reading my ramblings. Love you all.
<3-madd
posted by Kathryn at
5/10/2006 10:56:00 PM
21 comment(s):
I love you too, Ash. :3
By
Kathryn, at
11:36 AM
Man, kate! I am soo sorry for not noticing!I mean, I seriously thought it was just part of your story!! I love you so much!!!!!!! Thank you for telling me. I love you lots!:)
By
untamed, at
7:58 PM
Katy, dear, please e-mail me
clnofziger@yahoo.com
and I'll give you my phone number.
By
Carey, at
3:54 PM
Stephie, it is SO not your fault, please don't say you're sorry.
By
Kathryn, at
4:40 PM
To tell you the truth, I picked up on this while reading your short stories. I know from personal experience that there are some things you just can't write about - with that much feeling - that you haven't felt yourself.
By
Carey, at
5:03 PM
Heavenly Father, I bring Katy before Your throne of grace. She is hurting right now and my heart is very burdened for her. Only You know fully what she is going through right now and only You can heal her. I pray she would come to know Your healing power as I have and experience the newness of life that You bring. Comfort her, Father, and let her know that You are holding her in Your arms. Amen.
By
Carey, at
5:06 PM
*wipes at eyes* Thank you so much, Carey.
I fell off the wagon a bit the other day, but not much. Just a scratch. I'm sorry.
By
Kathryn, at
11:16 PM
It's okay, sweetie. Recovering will take a while. Just know that Jesus loves you and we do to! I also have several friends praying for you.
By
Carey, at
11:07 AM
Katy, try calling a friend when you feel like cutting yourself. You can call Carey and I and we would be happy to pray with you over the phone. If you want, you can email me and I can give you my cell number, and remember, we are your friends and we would love to help you anytime you need it!
By
Webmaster, at
12:22 PM
it looks horrible. it leaves awful scars on your body. don't do it. what in the world makes you take a knife to your body????
Does God make you do that? Maybe you've got too much church in you.
by the way, what's "asplode?"
By
Anonymous, at
10:54 PM
No, Gad was standing by, ready to take me back with open arms when I repented. He didn't "make me" cut, He helped me find help and quit.
By
Kathryn, at
12:43 AM
aslode = ;) Me to know, you to find out. Or maybe not.
By
Kathryn, at
12:43 AM
**God, not Gad, excuse me.
By
Kathryn, at
9:39 AM
"asplode" to me sounds like a combination of the words "Ass" and "Explode" which is a gross concept.
Well, clearly God LET YOU hurt yourself for a long time. What kind of God is that?
When you realize that there is NO ONE to protect you except yourself, you'll be better off. God is a myth.
By
Anonymous, at
9:39 PM
What kind of God controls you? God lets us make our own decisions. He won't make them for me. I chose to cut myself, my hand wasn't guided by God.
Listen, I know I'm not going to change your mind. God protects me. You nor anyone else is going to change that.
By
Kathryn, at
10:51 PM
No. God doesn't "protect" you. God is just an idea that you believe in. It doesn't protect you from everyday realities. and he clearly didn't even protect you from yourself. you're lucky you didn't cut your wrists and accidentally kill yourself.
I have friends who used to cut themselves. now they have awful scars. and they went to see psychologists and it helped them a lot. you should see if you have a school psychologist or something you can talk to. most schools have counselors and the talks are confidential.
in all seriousness - no matter what you believe - i hope you can take care of yourself and get over this. i've watched people go through dealing with it and its hard. so be careful, and try to think of protecting your body. that's all i'm saying.
By
Anonymous, at
11:16 PM
Great site loved it alot, will come back and visit again.
»
By
Anonymous, at
3:16 AM
Home schools don't have councelors. Thanks though.
And tyhank you-I understand, I'm not ready to die, that's why I searched out help.
By
Kathryn, at
11:06 PM
Katy, your home schooled? That is great! So am I! It is great that you do not have to go through many of the struggles that public school kids go through. But the one thing that I do, since I am home schooled and have a lot more Biblical teaching then Public schooled kids, is to reach out and minister to them! I would encourage you to do the same! For several years, I have been watching public school kids and praying that God will use me to impact them some way in there lives.
By
Webmaster, at
2:36 PM
too bad. school counselors are very effective at dealing with things like this. How about a pastor at your church? are you exposed to any other adults outside the home that you trust? coaches, instructors, relatives?
you can't keep doing this. i've seen how much it hurts people. try and get some help. seriously.
By
Anonymous, at
10:18 AM
i love you soo much katy! im sorry im so far away, but ive seen God doing amazing things through my life wherever i am and im sure he'll be there right beside you
By
Anonymous, at
9:42 PM
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