So angry
Right now I'd give anything to cut myself. Writing is my favourite hobby so I'll rant through words instead of blood.My mum and I were messing around, and she called my eighteen-year-old bro in to pull me out. He grabs me by my ankles and pulls me off the four-foot-high bed. He's strong so I have to let go, and I land on my knee. NOT FUN. I start to cry, and Mum tells him to leave me alone, but he pulls me up and carries me into the hallway, where he proceeds to throw me out the door onto the porch. I run back in and kich him as hard as I can (I've been practicing, i can kick high), and hit him in the crotch. He yells at me and tackles me into the door, and throws my sholder right onto the doorknob. Of course I get yelled at for kicking him, etc, but no one cares that I'm hurt too. "You went WAY too far", Jesse goes, and I said, "Oh, and YOU didn't?" and run up the stairs. I'm too angry to sleep atm, even though it's nearly twelve. I came SO close to grabbing my knife before I came back down. It's just behind my bedside table...
So yeah, my day's been good before tonight. I rode Flash for a looong time, then we went down to the overlook in the woods and sat for a while. I remember how when I was little I'd go there and wish I had a loyal companion to take me places. Flash is a dream come true. I love him so much.
Bedtime, loves.
night,
<3-madd
^^;
posted by Kathryn at
5/11/2006 11:38:00 PM
12 comment(s):
Wow, that sounds like my family. Anytime my brother does something like that to me, he gets away. But when I fight back, man, it's like I'm the worst horrible criminal in the world!!! My mom always takes my brother's side no matter what. I know the feeling! I'm glad you wrote about it. It's good to know I'm not the only one.
By
untamed, at
9:54 PM
YAY. I'm glad my brother isn't the only jerk. Ask Ashlato tell you all the horror stories og her sister. xD
And yeah...Jesse blames me for everything...I got in bi trouble for taking Mum's hairspray, becasue Jesse said I did, but I hadn't even seen it that day. :K
By
Kathryn, at
9:38 AM
I haven't been to your blog in a long time.
I'm so sorry.
If you every need someone to talk to,
let me know,
You can EMail me at TheEarthCanBeMoved@GMail.com
Any time you need to,
Just let me know.
I'm usually up late.
I'm praying for you.
By
TheEarthCanBeMoved, at
3:41 PM
And remember,
God put you here for a very important reason.
Never doubt that.
He made you special,
Only you can fulfill the purpose he has for you.
By
TheEarthCanBeMoved, at
3:45 PM
Jason's right. God has you here for a purpose.
And please, please feel free to contact me if you need to talk! You have people who care about you and are praying for you!
By
Carey, at
3:58 PM
I don't have anything to say, but thanks so much, Carey and Jason. I feel cared for.
By
Kathryn, at
4:42 PM
Katy, writing was what helped me. I vented upon pages and pages of my journals because for the longest time I didn't want to talk to anyone about what I was going through. The Lord knew my pain and it is amazing to read through the volumes of my old journals (that fill an entire shelf of my closet) and see how far the Lord brought me. It was dark, scary, and took a while, but the Lord was faithful to lead me through that "valley of the shadow of death." He'll do the same for you. You did a good thing in telling us. Now we know how to better pray for you, and the Lord does amazing things when His people pray!
By
Carey, at
11:29 PM
I've got a few freinds that are praying for you.
One of them asked me to give you this link.
http://www.xanga.com/Justsomeoneyouknow
By
TheEarthCanBeMoved, at
5:34 PM
Jason, Carey, you two are absolutely amazing. I've never seen anyone so dedicated. Thank you.
By
Kathryn, at
11:17 PM
That site Jason told you about, it's all fixed. A prayer for you.
By
~*Joyzey*~, at
12:08 AM
I'll be praying for you!! I also have several of my friends praying for you. If you need some one to talk to you can email me at jnofziger09@30gigs.com. Remember, Christ loves you and has put you in this world for a purpose! Never think about commiting suicide! When ever you start to think about it, try writing letters to God. That has helped me in the past not to commit suicide!
P.S. If you are wondering who I am and how I found your site, I am Carey's brother and I am very good friends with Jason.
By
Webmaster, at
12:33 AM
xD Any brother of Carey's is a brother of mine. It's great to meet you, Jeremy.
By
Kathryn, at
7:38 AM
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