So anyway...
My life's not bad. I'm working on a fleece blanket for Leslie and Jonathan's baby, Kaela. I also am trying to make a matching pillow, but I feel too clumsy to work on a blind stitch atm (for all you that aren't sewing savvy, it's a straight-across stitch that's almost invisible if you use the right thread and do it right), and make it 'blind' anyway.
If you want a theological lesson from that, I could say that the sewing machine will never mess up the stitch as long as I leave it alone. The only reason the straight line of stitches would dip down it if I were to move the cloth. It's something I had to learn the hard way. I messed up a lot of patches of that blanket by trying to manipulate the fabric too much. Now I just sit back, press the foot petal, and let the machine do all the work.
Hm.
Food for thought. Or more like small snack for thought. But it's better than nothing.
Yesterday was really good. Leslie and Kathy took me into Leslie's office and talked to me for a while, the subject being obvious. I didn't have the heart to tell her that one of the many reasons I started was because I thought she didn't care about me. I might should've. Anyway, I came out feeling better, if more confused. Everything in me is screaming at me not to trust them, that they're only telling me I can out of obligation, that they say the same things to everyone. Everything that I have learned to be is laughing at me, mocking me for even considering that they might not be lying to me, telling me that everything they've ever told me is only to laugh at me behind my back.
Leslie told me that they'd noticed a change. That I'd been more withdrawn, that I'd been closing up and hiding inside myself.
I didn't know anyone was so insightful.
Cheers, I don't know what to think anymore.
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Something isn't right today.
I could feel it all day. I couldn't sit down and be comfortable, I kept shifting and was unable to concentrate. When I got home I wanted to ride in the rain. It was nice, but the short time we flew, we were flying against each other. It just felt like there was some awful evil in the air, suppressing us, turning us against each other. Something's gone wrong today.
I don't claim to be able to prophesy, but I know something was bad today.
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Yellow!
Sorry if this is short, I've only got 15 minutes left and I still have to work on Elevate's template. Steph and I are working on a blog for Elevate, to keep up with the team's prayer requests. I'm excited. i hope some others aside of me and Steph will end up posting.
Anyway, the URL is elevatecbc.blogspot.com.
Cheers! If you have any tips, give 'em over, I suck at HTML.
Great. Just amazing.
Dad was upset that I'd started to dress dark and with chanis and all. He thinks it's because of the internet. So now I have three hours a day tops, and only from 8am-9pm.
I spend three hours just blogging on a good day. What am I going to do with a full, like, 15 hours a day of nothing every day?
Save me.
Ugh...going to this stupid place up in Boone, it's like a two-hour drive. I can't take a pillow, can't take anything, 'cause we're not riding in our flipping car, we have to carpool with somebody else.
Once we get there, I can't even wear my chains. Ugh.
This is going to be super.
In case you were wondering,
the title of my blog means (literally) 'Lost inside myself'.
Just in case you were wondering.
I feel like I should write something, but nothing interesting has happened here.
Right now,
my head is covered in foil.
I'm dying my hair...Yay! xD It'll be blue and orangeish streaks. I'm excited.
I can't think of anything else to say. Um, ciao.
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Hihihihi!!
HI! I was at work with Dad all day today. I love doing that. He sent me down to the youth office for an adapter, and I asked Steven for it, and he brought it right over. Steven's so smart. He came right back with the thing. I was deeply impressed. xD
Kathy T. is the such the sweetest person I know. She asked me how I was doing with a meaningful look. I told her better. I didn't say that I scratched my arm all up with a pen (pen caps can be a bit sharp when you do 'em right), twice, yesterday. I wish I had, now. I guess I'm still in the cement-hard mindset that no one really cares like they say they do. I don't know. Maybe I am right in that. She certainly seems to care though. Either way, she's awfully nice.
If any two (adult) people(that I've actually met) care about me, it's def' Steven and Kathy. I am perfectly comfortable saying that I would live and die for them, and consider it a great honor.
I love my church. I sat in the prayer room for almost an hour, and, just like David suggested, hugged the giant cross that sits within. I wanted to scream into it, but I figured that'd be stupid.
Now, if it would only rain, I'd go out and ride in the rain. That sounds awesome.
I bought a Sanctus Real CD today. They're the only Christian band I've heard in a very long time that I actually LIKE.
Cheers!
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Um...
We had the Elevate meeting today. It wasn't anything like I thought it would be. Not half as interesting (Sorry, Jonathan), and twice as much less actal "What do you think of this" time as I'd expected. Anyway, it was different. I had to freaking miss the Campfire for it though.
I don't really...I emailed David. I don't think he'll reply. In fact, I know he won't. He hates me so much. Can't say the feeling is mutual. Anyway, if he doesn't reply in a day or three I'll post...but...I don't have much to say aside of what I asked him, so...I...yeah...I don't really know what I'm saying anymore.
Sanctus Real's 'Don't Give Up' sounds so much like Keane, it's not even funny.if you like SR, you'd like Keane, and if you like Keane, you'd like SR. Yah. That doesn't make...nevermind.
I'm off to paint my bracelet rack (my own design, Dad helped me build it). Ciao.
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Sanctus Real
Wow. I'd never heard them before, they're excellent.
Today was fun. I got a bunch of new clothes. Here's a list, in case you care. I bought:
a set of 6 multicolour jingly bracelets
a pair of green earrings
A black stars-circles studded belt
an army green belt, studded with stars
2 pairs of jeans
A black tee with a crude face with the mouth duct taped, with the caption "Silence is golden, duct tape is silver"
A black dressy shoulder top with white trimming
a black canvas jacket
a faded black Diet Coke tee
a blue + white striped rugby top
A brown+white layered-looking dress top
And of course, my favourite, a chain with a large skull charm (large as in, 3/4 inch high, 1/2 inch long). The back of the skull's head opens up! It's long so I wear it under whatever shirt I have on.
I wnated to buy a purse too, but there weren;t any that I saw I liked.
Anyway, yeah. Yesterday was fun. Dad and Mum and I went to a F.R.O.G.-themed Hispanic-outreach kickoff. There were blow-up games and stuff, it was fun. This one boy made his friend tell me that he loved me. it was kind of creepy in a cute way. They kept 'accidentally' bumping into me. Weirdos.
Eight ways to kill someone with an iPod Nano.
1. Break it in half with your hands (very easy to do) and use the glass viewing screen's broken edge as a razorblade to slice the jugular when they are looking the other way.
2. Take off one sock (a dress or tube sock; pantyhose will work in a pinch), place the Nano in the sock, swing it around as fast as you can (being careful to not hit yourself), and whack the intended target right on the temple.
3. Take the reflective shiny part and catch the sun's ray and shine it in a vehicle driver's eyes, or if you are at a rock concert and the lead singer is prancing around on a center stage that protrudes into the audience, you can use the same technique.
4. The cord on the earbud headphones can be used to strangle someone. A knee in the back can give extra leverage.
5. Dig a pit about 5 feet deep, then take about 15 3-foot-long stakes 2 inches in diameter and sharpen one end to a fine point, like a very sharp pencil. Jam the sticks at least a foot into the ground, with the sharp ends pointing up. Cover the hole with pine boughs, grass, and leaves. Treat the Nano like a slice of cheese pizza in a deep, hot oven and place it gently in the middle.
6. Carefully unstaple a tea bag and pour the contents on a plate. Break into the lithium-ion battery pack and saturate the tea with the battery's poison, then dry the tea in the sun (or with a hair dryer if you are in a hurry). Put tea back in tea bag and bend the staple back to its original position. Put the tea bag back where you got it.
7. Download to the Nano "We've Only Just Begun" by the Carpenters. Tell someone you will give him or her your Nano if they listen to that song a hundred times in a row.
8. Hide the Nano in a bowl of lutefisk, then take it to the annual Norsefest Lutefisk Eating Competition in Madison, Minnesota.
Stole it off some random blog. My apologies. But...yeah.
Mind block
Maybe writer's block would be a better term. Anyway, I shall post questions as they come to me.
Why are the best songs always the worst ones?
Why is the best-tasting food always the worst for you?
Why are there swear words? Do some words take priority over others just because some idiot decided they should be 'bad'?
Who originally decided that slicing your skin was a good way to cope?
Why do people judge things before they understand them , or the reasons behind them?
Why is it that the Bible has the reputation for being a boring book?
Why do people hate homework so much?
Why is deodorant so expensive?
Who decided that putting a giant, heavy leather object on the back of a horse was a good idea? Whoever they are, they should be shot.
Why do people not ride horses to work anymore?
Why do you know more about the people in -insert your favourite TV show or book- better than you know your neighbors?
Why do all my good friends live so far away from me?
Why do we get tired?
Why do people hurt other people?
Who does it hurt more when someone dies: the person that killed him/her, or the family of him/her?
Why do people abandon puppies and kittens, dogs and cats on the road?
Why do race horse people put the race horses to sleep when they're not of 'any use' anymore?
What's the difference between African-Americans and Caucasians?
Why does Diet Coke taste so crap compared to regular Coke?
Why do people label others?
What's the defenition of 'emo'? 'Nerd'? 'Geek'? Somebody who wants to be their own person? Someone who excells in school? Someone who has an extensive knowledge of computers?
Wow, what a GREAT reason to label. Wow.
Why are people allergic to things?
Why don't people sew their own clothes anymore?
Why does gasoline cost so much?
I have so many more. I should stop though.
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Cool.
It worked. No more implodinghead. Die die die.
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Don't forget...
Tomorrow, blog URL changes...once again, if you'd like the link, my email address is mybabyzipper@gmail.com.
See you all soon.
This isn't a post. Shh.
I want to implode. I can't stand not writing. I need to go scream into a pillow now.
Don't worry about me if there are no more posts.
i'm going to take a break for a while. It seems all i can do anymore is make people yell at me. isn't that the point of a blog? to write about yourself? to express yourself? if i missed the memo and the entire point is to have your opinions bashed, please feel free to inform me.
if you find it absolutely necessary to contact me, you'll find my email address a few posts below.
-madd
p.s. this was written in a bit of a rage. although i feel no remorse now, i'm sure i will soon. just another 'phase' us immature, impressionable teens go through, you know.
funny how so many teens never come out of that 'phase' alive.
anyway, i apologize in advance.
Is there anyone you hate?
Be honest.
I'd have to say the one person I have ever (and currently do, I guess) hated is John Kerry.
I hate him with a passion like a thousand suns.
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On movies. And favourite actors.
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
It surprises me that my spell check isn't screaming at me for his last name. Hm.
Yeah.
I just watched the movie The Eraser...I swear, if you haven't seen it, DO. 'Tis awesome. Like, Arnold's muscles were like, disgustingly big when he was young, and almost non-existent now, but back in '95, man, that was his day. He's a great actor in all three Terminators. I love how he can not smile. I so cannot do that. You can say 'parakeet?' to me and I'll just bust out laughing. Especially when I'm supposed to be serious. But anyway, yeah. Eraser's def' his best movie. One of the best I've ever seen. Seen it three times now.
Also, Michael J. Fox's a good actor too. I loved his absolute, almost prejustice Republican...ness in Family Ties, and his character in Back to the Future was awesome.
Johnny Depp is undoubtedly a good actor, but he doesn't really look good in anything but his Pirate costume, I think.
I dreamed two nights ago that I met Mr. Schw...Dang, I have to look that name up every time. Arnold. I went to California and he was working some random desk job, and I was all ZOMG. So I got his autograph, and made him write down every movie he'd ever been in (so I could buy them). Then he gave me some blueprint to the building and ran us all out before the whole place blew up. Then we went riding. Don't ask what horse could actually carry him, or where and when I actually purchased this horse. And I dropped a baby and he tried to give it CPR, but it died, and its mother was mad, but I think it was because we broke its' helmet.
We were having a crab-walk race when Dad woke me up...I wanted to shoot him. xD it was fun. I was beating him somehow, which is improbable because he has about three hundred pounds more muscle than I do. Weirdness.
Anyway. Yeah. Go buy Eraser, it should be cheap, it's ancient. And if you can afford it (They're 20 each!), buy all three Terminators. He looks great riding that giant motorcycle in #2.
Yah.
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The need.
I read other blogs and feel stupid. I need to write. I need it like I need air. And I just now realized that. I only wish I didn't have to use words.
Jenna would tell me that I should draw. Maybe she's right. I don't think I could live without drawing, ethier.
She lived to this beat. It changed. Sometimes it screamed in her ears, screaming pointless things that didn't make much sense. Others, a quiet Celtic-like tune that was rather pleasant, if trite. Occasionally a tear-jerker, often just a foot-tapping rock beat. It didn't matter. She knew the words to every song. She knew just when the drums came in, exactly when the guitar would start to fade. She knew.
Other than that, she was the normal, average human. upper middle class, two cars, 2.5 children. Average husband, average pay, average kids. He left in the morning with a kiss on the cheek, returned home to the smell of a cooking dinner and children in front of the television.
Thus they lived out their lives. the children grew up, went to college, married, had their own children. The adults grew older, greyer, more average. They entered an avrage nursing home, lived out an average remaining five years with weekly visits from their children and grandchildren.
Don't ask me why I wrote that. I don't even know.
it started out cool then died. xD I'm too worn out to write.
Good night.
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I love you.
I just wanted you all to know that.
You're all like brothers and sisters to me.
Thanks for helping me through crap, cheering me on in the good times, and putting up with my hopeless ranting and my random weirdness.
You mean the world to me.
Minä rakastan sinua.
Very much.
If no one noticed, I sign everything (even in real-life) with a heart-dash-*my name*.
I mean every pixel of that little heart.
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GUESS WHAT!
Dad let me give Bevvieluff his card! :D:D I was him from the choir loft while singing (Camp night), and was literally bouncing all night. Steph made me run around the church, it helped a bit, but I was seriously weird.
Bevan is the most polite guy I've ever met. Like, he doesn't even /hug/. It's precious. I love that man so much. The way he looked at me when I gave him the card was just like AWW! He didn't even look at it, for all he knew it could've been a peice of lint, it's like all that mattered was that I was thinking about him.
Something else...Why...the...freaking...HECK does everyone assume I have a crush on anyone I say I love? I'll give you a list(in no order, mind you, just in the order I think of) :
Jonathan
David
Bevan
Steven
Allan
Sam
Kyle
Jake
Tim
Josh
There's propably more, but I forget. Not including Jason and Jer, 'cause I've never met you two, sorry. =P
All my beloved brothers. Josh even introduced me as 'my little sister Katy' once. I love my big bros. They're all just big galoots anyway, they need help. o_o;
Anyway, they're all adorable and cute and sweet in their own ways. WHY do I have to 'like' everyone I love? It's not fair. Some people (Steph and Leah and Jenna) understand me, but the people my age don't. It's like you ethier have to have a crush on a guy, or ignore them entirely. There is no 'friendship', there is no middle ground.
Another thing-people ask me if I have a boyfriend. DUH! Take one look at me and it'll answer itself, k? I have a lot of guy friends (I think it's 'cause I'm a boy at heart), but it's just a giant duh. I know, you know, they know I'm uglier than a deformed elephant, don't even ask and rub it in, k?
Dang, I LOVE to rant.
Sorry for all my inflamed rantong. Really I am. =/ I was just thinking about Bev and how my family teases me about marrying him (which is really wrong 'cause he's almsot 30), viola.
I'm perfectly...normal.
*cough*
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name change
I emailed everyone I could think of the new URL. If I didn't send it to you, email me (mybabyzipper@gmail.com) and I'll be glad to link you.
It'll be changing on August 20th.
Sorry for all the trouble. I don't feel safe posting on my blog anymore. I feel like I can't say what I want to because my parents might go back on their promise and read it.
Thanks.
Cheers!
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May 11, 2006
I had a long post written, but I decided not to post it. I have reason to believe that my dad's not kept his word and has been reading my blog...not to mention my mum knows the URL and was trying to get at it. I keep a blog to be able to post my heart without fear of them reading it, and I don't think I can do that anymore.
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And it was all YELLOW!
I love that song. I was watching commericals today, and GUESS WHAT! I already knew this, but haven't gotten around to posting it. Anyway, the new movie World Trade Center, they're using Coldplay's 'Fix You' as their song! I'M SO EXCITED! I LOVE that song! Sure, they cut and mutilate it, but STILL! it's COLDPLAY!
...now that I'm finished with that...
I went out with Steph to the barn today. it was fuuuun. She stayed 'til almost 10 talking with mum and Dad. xD I just sort of listened, I have to know something about the subject at hand to contribute. I'm really a terrible conversationalist.
That was a lot of big words. I can't carry on a conversation, but I can sure talk your head off of big words. :D
I decided that for my 14th birthday (SOON!!!), I want to have my parents take me and a couple friends to the beach for a long weekend. I was thinking Olivia and Kristen...Kris' a great friend, but we don't have anything in common...Livvy's an awesome friend, and we have EVERYTHING in common. Kristen's sort of a wall to keep us from exploding all over the walls. Makes a nasty mess to clean up, bleh. She balances the pace of the ever-quickening conversation.
MEEP! I can't go to ice-cream with Rachel (intern) tomorrow (unless I can scrounge up some pennies and dimes from the bottom of the dryer) 'cause I'm out of money! xDD I need less friends, or more money.
I have good friends. :D I rather like my life.
...I wan to give Bevvie his gift carddddd. D:
I need caffine.
I LOVE COLDPLAY.
I sort of need to finish Roar of Evil, eh? I never did. I read it yesterday and actually was sort of surprised at how not-horrible it was. If I have to write an essay in school, I may just use it. xD Shh.
Cheers!
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Today I feel:
Dont'cha love those trite "Today I feel" things people have on their 'fridges?
Anyway, in case you care, I'm frusterated atm.
At Camp, I met this awesome guy named Bevan. He lives in London, and is from New Zealand. He's got this fluffy accent and all. Really nice guy. Played keyboard in chapel.
Anyway, we sort got to know each other, and had all these inside jokes and all. It was fun.
I asked him "What's your favourite thing about America?" The answer was instant and without hesitation. "Wal-Mart and Chili's." So today, I went and git him a $25 gift card to Chili's. I would have gotten $15, but they only had 20 and 50. I thought he's be at church tonight, but he didn't come. I'm hoping I'll see him Sunday.
Anyway, on the way home, Dad gave me this lecture on how he didn't think it was 'apropriate' to give a guy a present of so much value. If Bev was 15, it'd be one thing, but the guy's 30!
What's he going to think, I'm proposing to him, or something? He's not an idiot. I can't even give a friend a gift (a birthday gift, I might add) anymore, just 'cause he's not female?
Is it just me, or is there something screwed up?
I want to obey my dad, but I love Bevan! He's an awesome friend. Dad propably thinks I have a crush on him or something else lame like that.
Obviously Dad can't /make/ me not give him the card, but he can make me feel awful about (spending my hard-earned money for nothing) it.
So now what?
<3-madd
Once Again
I watch the stars as they fall from the sky, I held a fallen star and it wept for me, dying. I feel the fallen stars encircle me now, as they cry. Another tomorrow, remember to walk in the light.
http://atticusnash.blogspot.com/
I feel a connection to this person. Somehow, somewhere, I know him. He is me, I am him. He can put into words what I have no vocabulary for.
I wish he was still frequenting his blog.
It makes me sad. It makes me wonder. Did he end his life of pain and sorrow? Did he reach his goal, attain the one thing he thought would make him happy?
Life is full of unanswered questions. Just another one floating around in the giant orb of uncertainty.
@Jeremy
I saw on your profile that you like Muse? It's the best band ever! Matt Bellamy's such a good singer. *swoon*
Mum!
Mum's doing better. She came home Thursday. She's walkign around and doing simple stuff. No riding for another 6 weeks, though. =/
Thanks for your prayers!
Cheers!
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Ramblings about my excessively fast nature
Hi! I ran MS in both services. i sort of broke it, but whatever. I'm reeeeally hyper, they fed me doughnuts all morning and now I'm eating Life and a Frosty. You wouldn't belive how fast I'm typing this. I feel like laughing and never stopping.
One of my best friends, Olivia, is going to volunteer in Elevate. I did passably well in the services this morning. And guess what! Mum sent Jess out to buy some groceries, and he bought Cottonelle, two-ply toilet paper! I've never had anything but the off-brand, I'm really excited about this stuff. It's so soft and fluffy. AND I had 3 emails in my Inbox this morning!
I need help. O_o
I'm way too easily amused. I'll sit and rave over a nice bale of hay for ten minutes. Just ask my dad. I was literally jumping up and down when i saw the Life in the closet, it's my favourite cereal.
YAY! We're going to watch Pirates 1 now. I asked Dad "cnwwtcprts?" "What?" "CanwwtchPrats!" "What??" "*sigh* CanwewatchPirates?" Me talking slow is still fast for most people. I can say in 30 seconds what most people can say in ten minutes. xD
I tend to not form my words at all when I'm hyped up...you have to take a wild guess at what I just said, or ask me to repeat it (numerous times).
Cheers!
<3-madd
P.S. Sorry for all the 'I's and 'me's...feels really weird talking about myself, really.
I hate making up these titles. Seriously, it's annoying.
Hey! 10:02. Waiting for my shirt to dry. I can't take a shower until all my clothes for tomorrow are laid out. I'm almost obsessive about it. Even when I just take a quick shower during the week (I tend to take longer showers on the weekends), I /have/ to have all my clothes laid out in the order I'll put them on, all the way down to my rings and watch. I'm really weird.
I'm so excited about tomorrow! I'm running Media Shout in both services, and I'll finally learn how to set it up and all. YAY! Did I mention I switched from camera to MS? I forget.
This post seems to be following no plot whatsoever. I apologize for my evening rambles. I want to type about everything but fear you'll think I'm an idiot if I do. x3
There's a Elevate meeting on the 20th...I'm more than a bit concerned about it. Everyone's adults on the team! What'll we talk about? What will I say? Will I have anything relevant to say if they ask me?
Tsch, I know I should stop trying to make myself taller (I really confused my mum when I said that. Think.), but...I dunno, I can't think of any lame excuses for my stupid worrying.
Carey, Jason, Jeremy, I'll eagerly await your consolments and relevant verses. No sarcasm intended.
Meep! I think the dryer's done.
Kippis!
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Puehlin!!
HI! I missed you all. I've had too much sugar and too little sleep the last two weeks. It's wearing on me and I'm HYPER. Some idiot (Tim) gave Leah a caffeinated coffee (I need to have a talk with that boy), and it sort of rubbed off. It was pretty amusing watching them dance, though.
I feel like writing, but I can't think of anything! I left my Camp journal at the hospital. Maybe I'll get my cutting journal. K, here goes (opening to random page...) :
Uhm. A page of doodles. One's of hair. Don't ask. Near it, a sqiggly line resembling a heart monitor line. To the right, a side shot of a punk/Goth-looking guy with a mohawk holding a knife, with the caption "Clutching my cure" (interpret as you like). A spiral paisley-looking thing. "John 5:7". Something looking like a roller coaster. A crown. A padlock. "1 Peter 12:11-aliens? o_o;", a weird line looking like a hair ribbon, and "Anna-you own me!" (good friend of mine).
Hm. Doodles from a sermon at World Changers.
Text! Yay.
"4-29-06 11:33 pm
HAHA! I've done it! I _finally_ found a real sharp knife. It's the one John (nana and papa's friend) gave me. It's ten times sharper than Jesse's old one, and it's awesome. I gave myself the longest,deepest cut yet. It's 1/2 inch long and pretty deep at the start, though it shallows up. The other knife was so dull I had to go over a ton of times to draw blood. With this one, I can get blood with only a little pressure and only a moderate amount of pain.
The only downfall is that it's huge, and will be hard to carry around. Oh well, I'll find a way.
bai.
katy"
On the next page is a lame poem I wrote when I was depressed. I found later when I actually read it that I stink. Yarly.
'Sleeves'
these sleeves i wear
to hide these scars
scars from failure
from beatings
from mockings
each day i return and freshen these scars
give them the blood they long for
i long for
no one can see
no one must know
what i do to escape this hell
i never cry
i never wince
but for every cruel word
for every critical glance
cut deeper
i don't want to see your freaking psychologist
don't want to hear your lectures
so these sleeves i wear
to hide these scars
KRO
4-30-06
7:15pm"
That's just pathetic. Ew, ew. xD I'm glad I'm not there anymore-not only did it hurt, I kind of suck at poetry.
Don't lecture me, I'm only sharing my journal. I'm entirely fine now, k?
Kippis!
madd
Hi!
Hi! Sorry it's been so long. I was only gone to Camp about 4 days but Mum's in the hospital and I have hardly had time to check email. She's alright, just a few complications with a surgery. May be coming home in the next few days, finally.
Camp was...amazing. I can't wait to type up my notes from Chapel. I've never felt anything like it! I'm really excited about the rest of the year.
I got a Finnish phrase book! ;D I can say 'where's the nearest bank', 'I'm with my wife', and 'Cheers!' now. x33
...I need help. I'm not tired, I get plenty of sleep. But I'm so
weary. As soon as I came home, I was hit in the stomach by a dozen things. I know the devil's trying to get me down, and I'm trying not to give him authority, but it's so hard. I feel like a tiny tree in a windstorm.
I love you all. Hope you're doing well.
Kippis,
Madd
P.S. Kippis = cheers
